MORE than nearly two decades since actress-beauty queen Ruffa Gutierrez last saw her former husband Yilmaz Bektas in 2008, the former couple is bound to see each other again next month, as Yilmaz is scheduled to come to the Philippines to visit his daughters.

Ruffa’’s daughters – Lorin and Venice – who are both studying in the US, are also expected to return to Manila to meet up with their dad.

Although there’s no more love at this point in their relationship, Ruffa said the father of her children will always have her respect.

“That will never go away,” Ruffa said. “We shared something together. Iba talaga ‘yung asawa than a girlfriend.”

It also helped that Yilmaz is based in Turkey, where the girls were born. “It helped that he’s far away,” said Ruffa. “Walang gulo. He’s not here. I raised the girls on my own.

“I never said anything against Yilmaz. I told my girls the truth, but I also insisted that they respect their dad. My kids are my best friends, so I tell them everything. I don’t hide anything from them.

“Love of a father is also important. My kids are always looking forward to spending time with their dad.”

He is aware that his daughters “are not mine anymore,” said Yilmaz. “He has no right to question me about my love affairs,” said Ruffa. “I also don’t have the right to get mad at him, whoever he dates lately.” 

When Yilmaz announced he would visit the Philippines in May, a number of girls surprisingly messaged Gutierrez.

“Don’t message me,” Ruffa lamented. “I am no longer in Yilmaz’s life for so many years. To all the women who reacted, please don’t message me. They got affected.

“Let him come and spend time with his kids. It’s not about me anymore. It’s about him having a connection with the kids again.”

Although Ruffa remains the provider for Lorin and Venice, Yilmaz also gives financial help now to his daughters. 

“Salamat sa mga endorsements ko,” said Ruffa who was recently named global brand ambassador for Kabayan Remit, an online money transfer platform to the Philippines, available in the US, Canada and the United Kingdom.

Gutierrez is a daughter, mom, sister who knows the importance of loving and supporting her family. She knows the sacrifice of hardworking Filipinos abroad. She grew up in the eyes of almost the entire nation.

“Most OFWs abroad know her and love her, so they can resonate with Ruffa,” said Karina Untalan. “She embodies all the hardworking Filipinos abroad.”

“If you remember, I stayed in Istanbul for a few years. Although I was not a hardworking OFW there, I could feel the sadness. I missed my family back home. 

“I laud all the OFWs for all their hard work, strength, resilience and strenuous activities. Now, there’s an easy way to send love to our families here in the Philippines.

“All they need to do is download the app and Kabayan Remit has the best exchange rates with low fees.”

“Unlike before when sending money to the Philippines was hard, Kabayan Remit can expand not just in Canada, the US and the UK, but even in the Middle East, as well, because there are many Filipinos there.”

For her daughters, Ruffa feels like an OFW who is here in the Philippines and the girls are abroad receiving their allowance from the mom.

            “It’s not only financial, but communication is important to us,” said Ruffa. “We regularly communicate through social media. We do FaceTime everyday and keep each other updated.

            “That’s my way of showing love to my kids, sharing our day-to-day routines. If I don’t hear from them for one day or they don’t hear from me, they would ask what happen.

“Even if Lorin is 21 and Venice is 20, they are still very clingy. Natutuwa naman ako with that. They are also up-to-date with news happening here in Manila.”

Lorin is taking up Integrated Marketing and Advertising at Pepperdine University in California. She is graduating in December.

Venice, meanwhile, is a freshman college taking up Political Science and goes to a university in Texas.

Admittedly, it is never easy for Ruffa to send her daughters to school and be away from them.

“It’s always difficult that my children are far away from me,” she said. “That’s hard for me, but what I always think about, even if I’m an empty-nester, I know that what I’m doing now is for their future.

“That they have a choice to be what they want to be one day – a diplomat, business woman, lawyer – maybe not just in Manila. And now with social media, it’s easy for them to flourish on their own.”

The girls return during summer and Christmas break. “It was harder back then when I only sent fax messages,” Ruffa said. “Phone calls were expensive then. Social media makes our communication easier and faster now.”

Ruffa always tells her daughters to save for the rainy day. “Most of the money their receive from endorsements, it goes into one savings account,” she said. “They do get allowance for themselves, so they can feel the worth of the money they worked for.

“I’m not very strict with them. They can splurge once in a while, but I always remind them to save for the rainy day.

“Lorin and I previously had a discussion about buying her first car in the States. Her first endorsement, she wanted a nice car, medyo luxury brand.

“Since it’s her money, I advised her to buy a car that’s not a luxury brand and she can drive to school. She listened to me and bought a second hand (Mercedes) Benz instead of leasing one. So that’s her own car and if she decides to sell it later on, pwede rin.”

Ruffa recalled her first paycheck not for an endorsement, but for a TV guesting in “Hiwaga ng Pasko” directed by Fritz Ynfante in 1987. She received P3,000 for her first salary. 

“I went straight to the shopping center and binili ko ang gusto ko,” Ruffa recalled. “But my first contract with Regal, I saved my money. I bought a condo unit with that.”

Although her love life is not totally a secret – she is seeing former politician Herbert Bautista – Ruffa does not give details of her relationship with the actor.

“Our relationship is there, but it’s not something which I share online all the time,” Rufffa said. “I feel that when the relationship is private, you don’t have to flaunt it.

“What is important is what happens behind social media, behind the scene. We don’t have to broadcast everything. Mas masaya ang private.

“When everyone gets into your business, everyone has an opinion. Honestly, what’s really important is not what everyone else says.”

Ruffa insisted it’s really important to find someone whom you will love for keeps.

“At the end of the day, your children will settle down and have their own family,” said Ruffa. “You really have to find someone whom you will share your life with.”

Ruffa and Herbert don’t check on each other’s activities. “He always sleeps ahead of me,” she said of Herbert. “Short kwento ko lang, tulog na siya. Ten o’clock, tulog na. Hindi siya lakwatsero.

“We don’t check on each other. That’s bad on our health. We just need to relax and chill.” 

Ruffa remains thankful that companies still believe and trust her for endorsement deals and represent their brands to this day.

“I make sure the product or brand is from a reputable company that I truly trust and admire,” said Ruffa. “So it’s easier to promote and endorse.”

For her 51st birthday on June 24, Ruffa knows she will have work on that day so she opts to celebrate the day before with family and friends.

“I don’t want a big party,” Ruffa insisted. “I want to have little birthday celebrations with people who are close to me so I can talk to the visitors. You can’t do that in a big party.”

Right now, Ruffa is into boxing, working out, dieting. “You really have to work, you have to sweat,” she said. “I think that’s also good for our emotional stability so we will always look fresh. We really have to move our body.

“As you age, you can’t be too thin, as thin as you were back then,” insisted Ruffa. “Hindi naman ‘yung mukha tayong bungo. What is important is that you’re round and still voluptuous.

“We gain ten pounds onscreen. I can’t be exactly like Julia Barretto and Kim Chiu. I wouldn’t keep that but I work out.”

Ruffa was supposed to do “Bad Genius,” the Viva series with Atasha Muhlach based on the Thai box office hit of the same title, but Gutierrez turned down the offer since another project came ahead of it.

“If I do taping everyday, baka hindi ko na kayanin maglagare,” Ruffa said. “I would have loved to do ‘Bad Genius’ and work with Atasha. That would make me excited because I saw her grow up. I hope we can work together in her next project.”

Being around since she was 13 – more than three decades ago – is indeed an accomplishment and achievement for Ruffa.

“It’s more about evolving and making sure we continue to enhance our skills to make it in this ever-changing world,” Ruffa maintained. “It’s more than longevity. I’ve been around since 1987 and I’m still here.”

Ruffa acknowledged her mom, Annabelle Rama, has always been over protective.

“Up to now, she thinks I’m still 12 years old,” Ruffa said. “So being over protective never na mawawala sa kanya ‘yun. But now, as she gets older, she gets more clingy and emotional. When we don’t include her in the conversation, she gets hurt.

“I’m am not over-protective to my kids. Yes, I’m strict. I’m the good cop and the bad cop. But as long as they don’t give me any problems. As long as they study hard, they don’t do drugs, they don’t drink.

“And if they introduce me to someone one day, say 15 years from now (laughed), I will not terrorize them like what my mom did to me, so they will not rebel. But I know that they will choose wisely, not like me.”

Ruffa is finishing her masteral in communication arts at the Philippine Women’s University (PWU) and she hopes to finish this year or until next year.

“That’s not easy unlike when I finished college during the pandemic (also at PWU). Today, everyone is busy and has many activities. So Lorin and I might graduate together.”

Ruffa plans to travel to Africa this year and do a safari tour, either with her daughters or even by her lonesome.

“Let’s see. I love spending on experiences. Just simple things also. If I don’t get to travel, I plan to spend a trip to the spa, get a massage, relax at home, watch my favorite series. I am somewhat boring now. I don’t want to go out often.”

What keeps Ruffa inspired is her family. “Knowing that we’re solid as a family unit,” she said. “Knowing that they’re always there for me whatever happens, they will always be there for me by my side.”

“My close friends, my girlfriends, are also important. True friendship that has stood the test of time is important. Knowing that I have real friends that I can count on and they are not fair-weather friends,” she added.